First of all, Happy New Years (both Gregorian and Lunar)!!! Whatever new things you've got planned for your life, let this be the year!
Or not. No pressure. :-)
With the beginning of each new year, many people (myself included) feel the need to reevaluate the past year and see what changes they could make to become a better person. I think this becomes more true as we start approaching our middle-age years, when we have some space to reassess our careers and milestones.
In previous years on this blog, I touched on dealing with perfectionism and jealousy. This time, I want to talk about self-love and acceptance.
Recently, through my work, I learned about a lovely woman named Gabby Bernstein. For those of you who aren't familiar with her or her work, she is a life coach and motivational speaker who has written quite a few best selling self-help books. Search for her on YouTube, and you'll find thousands of videos that will help you better acquaint yourself with her work.
In one of her recent talks, she discussed the issue of jealousy and how it is a symptom of a lack of or barrier to self-love. The way she talked about it opened my eyes to something that really hit home and made me feel the need to share it with as many people as possible.
Merriam-Webster describes jealousy as "an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has." So, here's the question: have you thought - REALLY thought - about why you want what someone else has so badly that you begin to feel negatively towards them? Many people think that it's because the other person doesn't deserve those things. But then, who does deserve it? You? Because now you're saying that you are not happy with what you currently have and can only be happy when you have that other thing. And that, my friends, is a lack of self-worth, a lack of self-love.
The secret to finding the truth is looking inward. The secret to finding the cure is to flip the script.
Yeah, you may not have that senior title with the corner office and six-figure salary, but are you really so bad off? You might not have a vacation home or an expensive sports car, but you seem to have the means to be reading this random blog post in your spare time. You're still alive, you're still breathing, and you have access to the internet. Many people would argue that that's not such a bad place to be. Yes, you don't have what THEY have, but you do have many things that a lot of other people don't have as well.
Loving yourself doesn't mean that you no longer aspire to be better. Loving yourself means that you respect your being and are proud of what you have been able to accomplish thus far. You are thankful for the people and things that are currently in your life and want to honor them and yourself by becoming a better person.
Can you become a better person through jealousy and competitiveness? You would certainly be driven. But better? How can you truly be better if you never think that what you are or what you have is ever good enough?
Think about that for a second. Your soul might thank you.
